Peter Andre And Kerry Katona’s Christmas Together: What Lies Within OK!

PETER Andre is on the cover of OK!. He’s giving the camera a big muppet-mouthed smile while shoving a generous fairy cake into his daughter Princess TenaLadii’s face. Not so very long ago, the child mother, the Teflon-coated Katie Price, told us via Twitter:

“I want to withdraw them from the public eye as I want them to have as normal a childhood as possible and want them to choose what they want.”

Can this outing be related to that Tweet?

While we wonder at that, we study the latest installment in the made-for-idiots fauxmance between Peter and Kerry Katona, the former queen of own-brand ketchups. On the OK! cover, she is sat next to Peter, dandling one child on her knee while another gives us a small-toothed, hesitant smile.

Says the headline:

“Peter & Kerry – It’s Our First Christmas together.”

By together, they mean on the books of the same agent. And by together they mean that Kerry and her brood have been photoshopped onto a tableau of sentimental Peter and his kidzzzz.

Inside OK! we get to see Peter joined by his son, Junior Peter. Princess and Junior Pete are the midget-sized Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez of the celebrity age.

They make up some a lack of talent by wearing a variety of branded merchandise and looking slightly to the side of the camera’s lens.

Meanwhile, in a different place at a different time, Kerry is joined by another child, and tells us that she has not bought anything for Peter Andre.

Don’t panic, Kezza. Why not lend Pete one of your children, or buy him a subscription to OK!, where fantasy collides with fact in a pastel grey zone of love….