The Razzies: Jessica Alba Excites Ashton Kutcher’s Wood

THE RAZZIES. These are the only awards that matter. The 2010 list of delights features the Last Airbender, a triumph for M. Night Shyamalan, whose forthcoming box can be shaken free of excrement and used as a colostomy bag for the film buff.

As ever Ashton Kutcher is the worst actor. Mr Demi Moore is so wooden he should star in Robin Hood remake as Sherwood Forest, alongside Jessica Alba as a stripped sapling being fired into an adolescent boy’s sock drawer:

WORST PICTURE
THE LAST AIRBENDERWORST ACTOR
Ashton Kutcher / KILLERS and VALENTINE’S DAY

WORST ACTRESS
The Four “Gal Pals” / SEX & THE CITY #2
(Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis & Cynthia Nixon)

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Jessica Alba / THE KILLER INSIDE ME, LITTLE FOCKERS, MACHETE and VALENTINE’S DAY

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Jackson Rathbone / THE LAST AIRBENDER and TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE

WORST EYE-GOUGING MIS-USE of 3-D (Special Category for 2010!)
THE LAST AIRBENDER (Released in “Fake 3-D”)

WORST SCREEN COUPLE / WORST SCREEN ENSEMBLE
The Entire Cast of SEX & THE CITY #2

WORST DIRECTOR
M. Night Shyamalan / THE LAST AIRBENDER

WORST SCREENPLAY
LAST AIRBENDER Written by M. Night Shyamalan,
Based on the TV series created by Michael Dante DiMartino and Brian Konietzko

WORST PREQUEL, REMAKE, RIP-OFF or SEQUEL (Combined Category for 2010)
SEX & THE CITY #2

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And:

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Anorak

Posted: 28th, February 2011 | In: Film Comment | TrackBack | Permalink