Sarah Ferguson Explores Her ‘Lotus Flower’ For Cash
JOBBING Royal pimp Sarah Ferguson is on Oprah Winfrey’s telly network talking about her lotus flower. No, it’s not a euphemism for her big toe, but an actual inner flower – that should not be eaten to excess lest it cause Fergie to fall into a delusional fugue:
“They always say a lotus flower grows with very strong roots in muddy water, and it grows tall and strong and no water sticks to its leaves. We mustn’t let negativity stick to us. But how could I have been a lotus flower on that day, on May 23 [the day she was caught out flogging Prince Andrew]? I was not aware of my roots [daughter of stable lad], I wasn’t standing tall and I had a world of negativity stuck to me. I was happy just sitting in my own isolated, lonely place, alone with Sarah, because at least I had myself. I was just going to be there because I couldn’t trust anyone, except for my girls and Andrew. And so I went to find the lotus flower within myself.”
She found it? Apparently, yes. And now you too can find Ye Olde Lotuss Flowere if you send £10,000 to the Sarah Ferguson Lotus Elan Fund. For that money you will get a signed promise that, despite testimony to the contrary, there is only one Sarah Ferguson…
LEISURE MCDONALDS
Sarah Ferguson (L), Duchess of York, poses with McDonald's character "Ronald McDonald" during a media event for the 2005 World Children's Day at the Ronald McDonald house in Los Angeles November 15, 2005. World Children's Day will be celebrated on November 20, 2005, a global program to raise funds for Ronald McDonald House Charities which provides services for children's causes. REUTERS/Fred Prouser
Posted: 1st, March 2011 | In: Royal Family Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
