Finding Sarah – From Royalty to the Real World: Duchess Ferguson Lives The Fairytale On Oprah’s Land Of Make Believe

SARAH Ferguson has been on Oprah Winfrey’s TV show Finding Sarah. The full title of the show Fergie reportedly scooped £200,000 for is: “Finding Sarah – From Royalty to the Real World”.

It is not a comedy. This is Ferguson reconnecting with her lotus flower.

The story is that Fergie, mired in debt and scandal for pimping out her former husband, Prince Andrew, for cash, will seek a new life via reality telly. She will market herself not as Duchess Sarah but as Duchess Sarah – The Salvation. As with all things Sarah this journey into Sarah will be conducted in public view.

As we say this is not a comedy. But if it were you might laugh out loud as Sarah fielded a question on flogging access to her ex-husband. Sarah says: “My moral compass is so strong that if I thought I was doing anything wrong, I would have known.”

Sarah says he is the victim of Sarah. She “self-sabotages“. She has a “people-pleasing addiction”.

As she tells it:

“Once upon a time I was a little girl who had a wonderful childhood. I fell in love, became a princess, had two beautiful children, life was perfect but I didn’t think I deserved it. So I sabotaged myself and I hit rock bottom. It was like I had murdered someone. I had murdered Sarah.”

Later she says that her dad called her a “sheep’s arse” and mum , Susan Barantes, accused her of “having the mark of the Devil“.

Sarah is now in safe hands with Oprah and her appointed experts. Oprah cares. Back in 2010, Oprah looked at that tape of Ferguson flogging access to Prince Andrew for £500,000 and opined:

“You on that tape — that is spiritually, morally bankrupted person.”

Ferguson’s reply was golden:

“That’s genius.”

Oprah has other experts, no less genius. Chief carer is Dr Phil McGraw, aka TV’s Dr Dr Phil. He once visited Britney Spears in her psychiatric unit and then gave he is verdict on her health to the cameras. An investigation duly found that he was not licensed to practise in Texas or California. He asks the Duchess where she hurts. She replies:

“My head. I live with nostalgic regrets on everything.”

In episode 1, the Duchess, 51, gets nostalgic. She is driven past Buckingham Palace. She says this is “my old house”. She is trading on her pariah status:

“I keep away from the Royal Family. I haven’t spent Christmas with my daughters in twelve years. It’s horrible to be ostracised from the family. I adored my mother-in-law [the Queen].”

We see Ferguson having teary conversations with her daughters on the phone, and asking the editors at Simon & Schuster to take her children’s books to the next level. One of her books is called Budgie and Pippa Count to Ten. Sarah is hopeful. Can Budgie count to 11, with Pippa Middleton, perhaps?

Dr Phil listens. He tells her:

“You are emotionally bankrupt. Setting you free and putting you back in control of your life and happiness is the reason for this journey.”

Says Sarah:

“When Dr. Phil said that I was an addict to acceptance and approval, I nearly hugged him. I just went, ‘Thank you so much!’ And he went, ‘That’s the first time I ever heard anyone be happy to be called an addict.’ And I said, ‘No, I am, because now I’ve got a label. I can actually see it.'”

You might make you own labels for Sarah…