TO Cincinnati, where Edwin Charles Tobergta, 32,  has been arrested for “sexual activity” with a pink inflatable swimming pool raft in an alley.

The slide’s owner complains to the police, which arrive in the form of Hamilton Police Officer William Thacker. The cop shouts for Tobergta to stop shagging the raft.

A police report is filed. It states:

“Defendant advised officers that he was doing it but only because he has a problem and that he needs help and please don’t send him to prison but send him somewhere to get help.”

Tobergta’s grandmother, Linda Tobergta, tells media:

“He has a lot of mental problems and he’s always had a fascination for plastic.”