Want To Pull Ashton Kutcher? Sex Him With No Protection And Talk Politics On His Wedding Anniversary

ALLEGEDLY. That’s what we need to say before this article gets under way, okay? Everything you read is alleged.

Right, now the lawyers have gone, we can get into the nitty-gritty of Ashton Kutcher’s alleged one-night-stand with the 23 year old Sara Leal.

This affair, of course, is the reason that Kutcher and Demi Moore are being linked to a divorce. But you’re probably more interested in how you might go about pulling the new star of Two And A Half Men, right?

Well, according to Leal herself, there’s a few tricks you need to pull.

She says:

“He had his arm around me and he started asking me questions. I told him I was a Lutheran from Texas.”

“He said ‘Oh my gosh! Are you a Republican?’ I was like, ‘What, do you like Obama?’ He said, ‘Yeah,’ and asked if I could name up-and-coming candidates.”

“I said Rick Perry. He asked if I’d vote for him. I said I didn’t know and he laughed. He laughed at pretty much everything I said.”

SEXY!

Then, Leal says that she ended up naked in Kutcher’s hot tub with another gal, before bunking off to his room for some sexy sex sex.

And there, they grunted and got down to it with no protection.

So, in short, if you want to have sex with Ashton Kutcher, pick a day when he should be celebrating with his wife, talk to him about politics and then let him stick it up you with no condom on.

Okay?

See you in the newspapers when you’re selling your kiss-and-tell story for a handful of dried peas.