Katie Price’s Oxford Union Address: The MILF Speaks

KATIE Price, famous for her gigantic Jordans, marrying sentimental orange-hued men, eating kanagaroo anus on the telly and getting awards for being a mother and looking after her own children, has addressed the Oxford Union debating chamber in Oxford University. She follows in the steps of Winston Churchill, the Dalai Lama and Mother Teresa. Or, if you prefer, Jordan speaks in the echoes of Pamela Anderson, OJ Simpson, Kermit The Frog and porn star Ron Jeremy.

Katie spoke for eight minutes with no ad breaks. Student Alex McDonald asked who her best lover has been. KP replied:

“It could be you… I’m a MILF, I’ll eat you alive”.

She added:

“I come from a family that has had to work to earn a living. It doesn’t matter if you’re a single mum or you have financial stuff, I believe that if you really want to do something and put your mind to it, it’s feasible, but you really have to be realistic. That’s how I’ve lived my life. The more people say ‘you can’t do that’, the more I say: ‘Well watch me.”‘

At which point no-one heckled: “Bet you can’t disappear up your own arse.”