WANT to see a photo of woman licking methadone from a pavement outside Edinburgh’s Wester Hailes shopping centre? Here you go. The streets of New York may be paved with gold, but in Scotland they get the good stuff. Drugs enthusiasts will flock to an independent Scotland.

The Daily Record reprots that the woman had a received her prescription for methadone when she dropped the stuff. She was with a friend and young girl.

The paper reports:

Outrage? Can’t Scotland afford to clean the pavements? You can blame the English for that.

The paper catches up with mother-of-four Debbie Notman, 28, who is an understanding voice:

“People are disgusted anyone would do this in front of a child. My pal took the photo on Saturday. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. She was so oblivious she didn’t even notice the picture was being taken.”

Hey, C’mon. It’s the five second rule. You know – when a thing hits the pavement you have five seconds to retrieve it and eat it lest it become infected. She had to act fast.

Anyhow , Scotland’s biggest secret is out. The sea is full of oil. The zoos are full of pandas. The pavements are covered in smack. England makes do with tarmac and dead hedgehogs…

Spotter: Daily Record