Jenny Thompson shags one of Snow White’s dwarves
BAD news for Mario Balotelli, the Manchester City striker, and Jennifer Thompson: neither are as famous or seductive to tabloid readers as Wayne Rooney. For the third time in five days, Jennifer Thompson is the Daily Star’s cover girl.
In that time she has been:
And:
“DWARF’S GRUMPY-PUMPY WITH ROONEY HOOKER”
One each occasion the story has been illustrated with photo of shag ‘n’ teller Jennifer Thompson, know billed as Jenny Thompson. But never is her name used in a headline.
Juici Jen, as her once fruity advert boasted, is good enough to sell sex on her own but she needs a man to sell papers.
Inside the Star, and below the headline “DWARF BEDS ROO TART”, we learn that Jen shagged Josh Bennett “for free”.
You may know Josh from the “cult” Channel 4 reality show Seven Dwarves. The show followed the lives of little people dreaming of being the next Tom Cruise as they get ready for panto in Woking.
The 4ft 5in star tells the paper:
“She’s not as wild as you’d think. She’s a lot taller than me, but then just about everyone is…She didn’t have any sex toys or kinky outfits. I wouldn’t have known she was a prostitute as she wasn’t totally ravishing. It wasn’t the worst sex I’ve ever had, but it wasn’t the best. I can’t see why all these footballers put their relationships at risk to spend the night with her.’’
And we now might wonder why “hookers” – even the not totally ravishing ones – put their reputations at risk to sleep with Josh.
Incidentally, Josh’s character in showbiz was called Sniffly. It might be Snooty.
And then this, the line that should end Mario Balotelli’s delusions and put him on the next plane back to Italy. Says Josh:
“I didn’t know who she was but my pal told me she was the prostitute who’d slept with Rooney and, though I’m not a football fan, I was intrigued. I asked her about him but she didn’t want to go into detail. She never mentioned Balotelli at all.”
In the same vein that Jenny Thompson is forever a “tart” and Josh is always a “dwarf”, Marion Balotelli is just another “footballer”. Wayne Rooney, however, by dint of his status as England’s great white hope is “Wayne”, the married man who leads the England line whether it be on the field or in the box. If any panto producer needs a new Snow White, Wayne’s your man. He might also turn his hand to Jack and the Beanstalk and Babes in the (Helen) Wood…
Posted: 11th, April 2012 | In: Key Posts, Sports Comments (2) | TrackBack | Permalink
