Chloe Evans: My sex with Manchester City’s shaven raver Mario Balotelli (photos)
MANCHESTER City striker Mario Balotelli has had sex with Cheadle’s Chloe Evans. Well, so says Chloe Evans, a woman seemingly well placed to see what’s on top of her. Having heard of Balotelli’s sex with “Wayne Rooney hooker” Jenny Thompson, the Sun know hears Evans claim that she too has enabled the Italian footballer to cheat on his usual lover Raffaella Fico.
Allegations from “pretty” Chloe are:
Chloe: “Mario hates pubic hair and before I had ever slept with him he asked me, ‘Do you shave the hair of the p**** ?’ I just laughed and told him not to be so nosey.”
Ruddy curtain twitcher. Go on:
Chloe: “He always shaves all the hair off down below, I’ve never seen him with anything there over all the time I’ve known him.”
Mario loves a Brazilian. Read all about it!
Chloe: “He wasn’t a bad lover as such — let’s just say he liked to take a long time about things. He said sex helped him be better at football, that it improved his stamina. But I had to fake it in the bedroom. Every time.”
Chloe: Balotelli “loved wearing” eye shadow, lipstick, blusher and a blonde wig. So dressed he told “pretty” Chloe: “I look prettier than you!”
Chloe is a “personal assistant” who was seeing Balotelli since she met him at the Sugar Buddha night club in 2010 and “dumped” him in 2011. (Why is Buddha ok for night clubs but not Mohammed or Jesus?)
Chloe: “I will never forget the day I gave him a girlie makeover — he loved it. We were a bit bored and messing about so I turned him into a WAG for a laugh!”
Can you kiss ‘n’ tell on yourself? Chloe is an assisted blonde and the temptation would be to tug at her hair just to check that Mario is not having larks at the tabloid’s expense.
Chloe: “He shook his bum really fast doing silly moves to make me laugh…He didn’t go as far as wearing a frock and stilettos — but I reckon he would have carried it off because he’s got the best legs ever.”
Chloe: “He always comes back to me. I’m his favourite. Raffaella thinks she is the only one for Mario. But he couldn’t give me up. And when he cheated on her he didn’t even seem to feel guilty.”
Tsk! Men, eh.
They had sex in Manchester’s Lowry Hotel last October, or what the Sun might call “Rooney tart hotel”.
Chloe: “I noticed he had soot all over him. He said that there had been a fire and he had to leave so he checked into the Lowry Hotel…He started trying to have sex. I said No at first. I was like, ‘You have a girlfriend, don’t you love her?’He carried on having sex with me, but I kept saying, ‘You shouldn’t be doing this.’”
He performs physical tests of endurance and skill while a blonde gives a running commentary. If the BBC ever produces porn this is what it’d look like. It’s Snatch of The Day, with a team of commentators and Gary Lineker (who better?) in the studio with ProZone, tips and regrets.
Chloe: “Then he stopped after about five minutes and said that I was right. He said he did love his girlfriend and he stopped, but I know for a fact that he would have carried on going if I hadn’t said anything.”
He brought himself off the filed of play. Typical, bloody Mario Balotelli: looks the part, gets into his stride and then something gets into his head and he fails to deliver.
“He didn’t look like he felt guilty. In the end we just cuddled and went to sleep.”
Chloesays she spent seven nights at Balotelli’s big house in Cheshire but never shagged him. Then he rocked up at her home and left before seeing her.
Chloe: “I had told him it was over but he still pursued me. I am fed up of his games. I couldn’t trust him anymore.”
Discuss.
Here’s La Fico:
Posted: 29th, April 2012 | In: Key Posts, Sports Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
