Mark Ronson had sleepovers at Michael Jackson’s as a child, which starts to explain a few things…
WITHOUT doubt, you will have looked at Mark Ronson’s face at some point and tried to climb through your TV screen or magazine page in an attempt to kick it clean off his head. He’s the most annoying human ever. Ever. Ever, ever, evereververver.
He’s got so much smug that he’s had to buy a second home for it. And that second home is the size of the Death Star. Ronson is so satisfied with himself, it is obvious that he can only reach sexual climax while looking at photographs of himself, while listening to his own music and recounting a list of all the celebrities he thinks he can call ‘friend’ in his mind.
However, while you’re busy wanting to invent a machine that follows Ronson around, forever flicking his ears and ruffling his hair while kicking him up the arse, it seems there might be a reason he’s so obviously warped – he used to attend sleepovers at Michael Jackson’s house when he was little.
Ronson says: ”I was probably 12. He was super cool. You’re 12 years old and he’s the world’s most famous overgrown kid, who’s running around your friend’s apartment with you. It was pretty wild.”
Pretty wild eh? Just how wild? Show us on the dolly where exactly the ‘wildness’ took place Mr Ronson. Of course, there’s a small chance you’re feeling a little sorry for Ronson now, but fear not! He’s got another clanging namedrop up his sleeve!
Apparently, Sir Paul McCartney saved his life! We wished Macca hadn’t bothered! Ronson continued, probably stroking himself and gazing at himself in a hand mirror held by some ironic retronaught: ”That sounded like one of my mum’s crazy stories, but then I did a song with Paul McCartney a few months ago. After a couple of days in the studio, he came in and said, ‘Your mum’s Ann, right? Me and Linda would always run into your parents on the beach in Long Island.’ I told him about my mum’s story that he saved me from drowning one time, and he said he vaguely remembered something like that.”
Next week, Ronson will invariably tell the press that ‘The Girl Is Mine’ is in fact written about him and that John Lennon appeared to him in a dream, telling him that he was the most talented person who ever lived.
Feel free to going back to your apoplectic Ronson-induced rage.
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Posted: 14th, May 2012 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
