England crash out of Euro 2012: It’s smell your fingers time

COME ON TIM! England are pout of the Euro 21012 Championships, defeated in the quarter finals by the more skilled Italy. Rooney and Carroll, a strike force any pub team would be proud to call upon, failed to push the ball over the line that mattered. Scotty Parker worked his socks off. The anthems were impeccably observed. Then came penalties, and with them deflated RF bombers and the end of the England Supporters Band, who missed their cue to equip each penalty taker with a signature tune. The EBS’s palpable lack of imagination is one more thing to lament. No directions. No goals. No Ennio Morricone.

Time, then, for England fans to wake up and small their fingers.

To paraphrase Clive James, “England were good at playing abstract confusion in the same way that a midget is good at being short.”

Anyhow, we’ll always have our fingers to call upon in times of national need: