Robert Pattinson demanded public apology as he feels emotion for the first time in his life
CRUSHINGLY tedious Robert Pattinson has spent his life in much the same way plankton has, silently floating through life with all the charisma of a bin bag, gently knocked side-to-side by the elements, ostensibly waiting to die. However, things have changed. Like a Sims character, he’s developing real human emotions and it is all because his gal, Kristen Stewart, has received the penis of another.
And, with these new found emotions, Pattz apparently “demanded” that K-Stew give a public apology to him after she confessed to having it off with married director Rupert Sanders. In a fraught phonecall, Robert told her that she’d “completely humiliated” him.
This is terrific.
“Rob is devastated and deeply hurt,” a source told The Mirror. “They spoke on the phone and he said ‘You’ve completely humiliated me’. They added: “He still can’t fathom why she cheated. Kristen is begging for another chance. Robert is undecided.”
The source continued: “Robert wanted the world to know that he hadn’t done anything wrong and that she had made a fool of him publicly.”
However, Pattinson still can’t compute these new emotions properly as he was pictured out-and-about yesterday, grinning. When you’re sad and angry, you’re supposed to let the muscles in your forehead turn down, sharply and gnash your teeth like a jealous dog.
Pattz is new to all this so we should probably let him off.
Posted: 27th, July 2012 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
