10 incredible facts about Pope Francis

TEN things you never knew about Pope Francis, as reported on every media outlet in the world:

He’s never been arrested for drink driving in Essex

He’s Catholic

He’s never made an omelette without breaking an egg

He advises watching Godfather Part 2 before Godfather Part 1, for narrative reasons

He is not a Jew

He is more famous than he was yesterday

If he wanted to lose weight he would eat less fat and exercise more

He has never won the Euro Millions Lottery

He was 21 when Madonna was born

He has never voted UKIP

Anorak