TO Salisbury, where police are seeking a woman in connection with the theft of a bottle of perfume from a branch of Boots. Police say the woman wears a fake nose and moustache.

Police can be so judgemental.

The suspect might be a pre-op and un-depilated Jennifer Aniston type, a woman dressed as nature intended. Or else she could be a thief who wears the kind of disguise that would attract attention in Hollywood, say, or some of the smarter parts of London but enables her to blend in seamlessly whilst robbing in Wiltshire.