Karen Danzcuk: my sex ‘relief’ with Simon Danczuk

In today’s episode of Keeping Up with the Danczuks, we learn what it is and isn’t like to have sex with MP Simon Danczuk. Karen Danczuk, for it is she, tells the Sun:

KAREN Danczuk returned fire in her acrimonious split from husband Simon — claiming their marriage was “sexless”. She also called the Labour MP “controlling and jealous”.

Sweet Karen then reportedly called her estranged husband a “bad-tempered alcoholic”.

“There was no sex and we weren’t even kissing by the end. I stopped fancying him and we had no spark left. I used to think, ‘If he is cheating, then he’s not coming to me for it’, which was a relief.”

We can only wonder what else Karen would reveal were she doing interviews:

karen danczuk talks

Demure Karen then reaches further into the knife drawer at the Rochdale home she and Simon used to share:

“People think he’s really calm and lovely but there’s a side to him they don’t see”

If only. It was only yesterday Simon was talking to the Sun. When they’re not slagging each other off on twitter, the Danczuks aappears to have the Sun on speed dial. Why they should talk with the Sun is something we can only wonder about.

karen danczuk pizza

“He’s always loved attention. All through our relationship I felt like I was the one in the background. It felt like everything we did was because he was in the public eye. I remember as I married him thinking, ‘When I do this next time I want a big white wedding with all the works’.”

Extra salami and a stuffed crust it is, Karen. Only the best for you.

karen danczuk breasts

Karen contionues to deny having an extra-marital affair with a personal trainer called Ben:

But Karen has taken a swipe at Ben’s wife Natalie, who has so far remained silent over the scandal. She claims the couple broke up themselves “way back in May” and also accused Natalie of having “fake boobs”.

Natalie has yet to pose for an accusation-busing selfie. But Karen’s breasts are ‘real’ – in facts, many think they are the most authentic thing about her.