Manchester City boss in Messi Sex Curfew
Manchester City spare part Samir Nasri was farmed out to Sevilla, told to lose weight (he has) and play well enough to earn a City recall (maybe: he has three goals in 10).
Talking to L’Equipe, Nasri spoke about his experiences working with Pep Guardiola:
“When I returned from holiday having had a year out with injury problems and personal life problems, I was a little out of shape. Not as much as what was said but a few, maybe, four kilos overweight. For Guardiola, over 2.5 kilos and you do not you train with the group.”
In July, we read that Guardiola has “established weight parameters for each individual”. “They are not overweight, but I want my players fit,” said the Spaniard. “The weight is so important. When you are not fit, danger is coming. You’re not fast enough or quick enough in the head. That’s why you need to be fit.”
Nasri links his fat to personal problems and ill health. Right now Public Health England is working out how Pep can run Government policy. “Sorry,” says Pep, “you’re too fat for benefits.” The Government will then give the fattest people tiny council flats to move into – and fit into just as soon as they shed the proscribed amount of fat.
Nasri adds:
“Guardiola told me that I was a mess, he told me several times and even kicked me in the butt, literally.”
Well, it was either that or hit a barn door with a banjo.
And then this is illuminating:
“He told me with your qualities you should not be at Manchester City, you should be at Barcelona.”
City beat Barcelona 3-1 in the Champions’ League. Is Barcelona a step down in class?
Having bigged himself up and slimmed himself down, Nasri talks of sex.
“There is the ‘midnight rule’. For him, his players’ sexual activity must take place before midnight in order to get a good night sleep – even if they are free the next day.
“He [Guardiola] said that he placed this rule on Lionel Messi and his muscles have improved since.”
Which night explain why Match of The Day finishes at five to midnight
Posted: 15th, November 2016 | In: Manchester City, Sports Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
