Prisoner sues guards for mocking his 91-hour long boner
Dustin Lance was serving a stiffy sentence
For a mere 91 hours Dustin Lance, 32, held an erection. The prolonged boner – the effects of a pill seconded from a fellow lag – caused Lance, in his words, “unbearable pain”. His bellend will never be the same again.
And his feelings are hurt, too. Lance says prison guards “repeatedly mocked him while denying him medical treatment”. What with this being America, he’s called in the country’s first emergency service: the lawyers, and is suing Pittsburg County jail in McAlester, Oklahoma.
Lance, who was serving time for burglary and possession of a controlled dangerous substance, says after being admitted to hospital, doctors “told defendants the plaintiff needed to be seen by a urologist specialist” immediately. But Lance says instead of rushing him to specialist care, deputies took him back to jail to organise a recognisance bond and”further delayed the treatment”.
Lance is seeking the entirely reasonable sum of $5 million damages. He really is going to stick it to The Man, and keep on sticking it until the sun goes down, comes up, goes down…
Posted: 26th, October 2017 | In: News, Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
