Cheryl Cole and Liam Payne split Bear
More than anyone can Bear
News that Bear Payne — offspring of former One Directioner Liam Payne and former Girls Aloud hair model Cheryl Cole (see tattoo) – is to be divided between his estranged parents is odd. “CHERYL AND LIAM SPLIT,” says the headline. “They’ll share Bear.” Share Bear sounds a bit like Care Bear, the cutesy 1980s dolls, or Hair Bear, as in The Hair Bear Bunch!, a 1970s American animated television series produced by Hanna-Barbera. Share Bear could be a new toy and tribute to marriage guidance: a soft Bear that rips in half, allowing both parties on a break-up to take one part each – Liam gets everything above the waist; Cheryl the lower half.
The Sun adds on Page 5 that Bear is Liam and Cheryl’s “Whole world”. It’s Bear World, a place of dirty nappies, spit-ups and gurgles. We also hear that the split is “amicable”, which says something about the level of passion their love affair, and how the split is down them being in “differing stages of their lives” – he is in shorts; she is in rollers.
The couple first met on the X Factor, where Cheryl was a 23-year-old judge and Liam a 14-year-old contestant. When they got together, love was so real, true and lasting that young Liam told us, “I celebrate Valentine’s Day every day.” Each morning there Mr Valentine was in his tux clutching a bear tied to a heart-shaped helium balloon. Eventually, of course, the thrill of popping to the shops for a teddy wears off and you make the choice: garage forecourt flowers or a Bear that actually grows and vomits.
Posted: 2nd, July 2018 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
