The death of bingo halls
The death of bingo halls
If bingo were a sport, it would be the 6th most popular sport in the country. Over 1.9 million people regularly play bingo each month in this country compared to 1.7 million who play tennis.
Online bingo is the main driver in popularity for bingo, with weekly bingo hall figures dropping by more than 14% in the past year alone. The death of the bingo hall, while sad, is completely and entirely expected – given the comfort and convenience with which they can play their favourite game, and the high-quality, engaging nature of the graphics you can get for free online. That’s why you can’t blame many players heading to sites such as Wink Bingo which are infinitely more appealing than their local bingo hall.
But bingo halls leave behind a rather amusing legacy. Let’s look back at some of the funniest bingo stories from the annals of time.
Bingo brawls
Bingo traditionally brings out the worst in people, particularly those of an older generation who may on the outside seem genteel, calm and placid. When a regular winner calls ‘bingo!’ there are whispered insults from around the room, questioning what sort of Faustian pact the winner must have struck to keep garnering such bingo success.
Sometimes bingo players even throw their cards at each other, assault one another with purses, dabbers and walking sticks. However on occasion it gets serious, especially when the new generation of players meet the old.
In 2016 a full scale brawl broke out at a bingo hall in Derby when a group of millennials fell afoul of the elderly regulars. According to onlookers an elderly regular was heard describing the youngsters as ‘lacking in respect’.
The millennials made so much noise during the bingo that people were complaining they couldn’t hear the balls being called. One patron decided enough was enough and hurled her handbag in her enemies’ direction, which sparked the brawl.
A crowd of millennials pounced on their aged counterparts and punches were thrown with police arriving on the scene in a matter of minutes to apprehend the offenders. Wendy Lee, 50, from Chaddesden, said she had “never seen anything like it” in her 20 years of playing bingo.
Another witness, Jim Hamer, 66, from Darley said, “It was just a few stuffy old sorts getting their knickers in a twist.”
So forget Connor McGregor’s next fight, head down to your local bingo hall to see some of the most frantic fighting action in the world.
Bingo rhyming slang
In Victorian times many Londoners communicated by Cockney rhyming-slang, using phrases such as:
- Battle Cruiser – The boozer – pub
- Apple and Pears – Stairs
- Brown bread – Dead
- Pat and Mick – Sick
- Orchestra Stalls – Balls
This rhyming slang made its way into bingo halls all around the country just after the end of the Second World War. Here is a mixture of classic, bizarre and downright strange bingo calls.
5 and 7, Heinz Varieties – Baked Beans were traditionally made with 57 unique ingredients, hence this bean style reference.
1 and 0, Theresa’s Den – UK Prime Minister Theresa May lives at number 10 Downing Street, otherwise known as her den.
3 and 0, dirty Gertie – This one definitely shows the main demographic of bingo halls, with it being a reference to a Second World War song of the same name about a dirty woman called Gertrude.
Number 9, Doctor’s orders – Another war reference, signifying the ‘number 9 pill’ that was given to troops with a non-specific illness. The pill was a laxative and was intended to ‘clear out’ the troops.
8 and 8, two fat ladies – This refers to the shape of the numbers, with an 8 looking like a slightly rotund woman.
5 and 6, was she worth it? – Another incredibly dated reference, this time to the price of a marriage license in the 1950’s, 5 shillings and sixpence. Normally women around the country shout back, “every penny” when the caller reads out 56.
Strange sellers
There’s no more classic a sight than a man in a trench coat walking around a bingo hall, opening up his coat to reveal a plethora of stolen goods, all available for a pound. Instead of going down to the local pub – where the police would often be – thieves chose the bingo hall instead to flog their hauls.
As a child there was a time when I thought that the bingo was actually a butchers because of all the meat my Grandma brought back with her. There’d also be Nicky trainers, Roy Ban sunglasses and Leroy’s jeans circulating around.
Ashley Graham Holland from Manchester took it way too far in 2017 when he stole £15,000 worth of goods from his employer John Lewis and flogged his ill-gotten gains on eBay and in his local bingo hall. Fortunately a Good Samaritan spotted him selling electronic goods one day and tipped off police.
Peter Kay satirises the bingo hall
Before Peter Kay made it big with his hilarious comedy Phoenix Nights, he had to prove to TV producers that he had what it took to be a writer, director and actor. The project that highlighted his talents was That Peter Kay Thing, a six-part series that featured completely individual fly on the wall style mockumentaries.
The second episode in that series was Eyes Down which centred on the goings on of Bolton’s premier bingo establishment – Apollo Bingo!
Eyes Down was loosely based on Kay’s own experiences of working in a bingo hall when he was a teenager and the popularity of the episode was hugely detrimental to the reputation of bingo. Here’s what Kay pokes fun at:
The callers: In Eyes Down Peter Kay plays (among others) the role of Scouse bingo caller Tom, who sees himself as somewhat of a celebrity. His interviews to camera are centred on his famous connections and he tells stories to big himself up, like when he had to turn down an appearance from Shirley Bassey because she wasn’t prepared to get changed in a disabled bathroom. Tom also indulges in the ridiculously crass jokes that epitomise small town bingo callers.
The intensity: In the opening scenes Peter Kay’s main protagonist is telling the camera about why he hates his job working at the bingo hall. He says it’s the worst job he’s had, and that’s doubly bad considering he once worked in a Harvester. One of the reasons he hates the job is because of the intensity that the players play with. He regales us with a story about a man who called for help for his wife, she was having a stroke but he couldn’t help as he had to carry on filling out her card. That might sound a bit far-fetched, but it’s undoubtedly happened at a bingo hall in the UK at some point, which is why it’s funny.
In summary
The bingo hall is dead. Yes, it remains the unique haunt of an elderly generation that still enjoy Second World War references from their bingo caller, but as that generation slowly shuffle off this mortal coil, the new home for bingo is online.
In all seriousness, if you were interested in playing bingo now you’d just download an app and play from the comfort of your own home. You can also play on mobile, meaning you can have a flutter while you’re on the move. No dabbers needed, no annoying bingo callers, no pain in the backside competitors – just bingo and chill.
Posted: 23rd, October 2018 | In: Technology, The Consumer Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
