Aussies In Top Gear

‘THE TIMES continues to plough its own distinctive furrow, and reserves space on its front page for a curious report of the impending journey of Ian Thorpe, aka ‘The Thorpedo’, from Australia to Germany, en route to the Commonwealth Games in Manchester.

Team GB gets ready to make a splash

The 19-year-old swimming champion will not be wearing the usual uniform of sporting teams on tour: blazers with crests, or logo-strewn leisurewear. Instead, he will resemble some kind of comic-book super-hero, clad in ‘humidi-flyer’ mask, ‘jet-skin decompression pants’ and white stockings.

This outfit is designed to prevent dehydration, aid circulation and discourage deep-vein thrombosis. The entire swimming squad will be wearing this outlandish attire as part of a typically single-minded attempt by the Aussies to sweep the board in the world’s 27th-most-important tournament. The assorted Duckling Club members representing Great Britain will be watching with trepidation.

The outfits are the work of the Australian Institute of Sport and are intended to combat the detrimental effects of long-haul flights. But there are other advantages too. Those jet-skin decompression pants should come in handy if anyone decides to have a crack at former Test cricketer David Boon’s record 50-plus tinnies on the flight to the 1989 Ashes series.

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Posted: 19th, July 2002 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink