Space Invader

‘IT’S a depressing thought that in 30 years, the average bloke will have to convert a marquee into a pair of trousers to have any hope of squeezing his 42in hips into them.

Coming to a planet near you

But there’s no need to take out that gym membership or embark on that low-fat diet just yet – hope is at hand, and just 17 years away.

‘The Armageddon asteroid is coming,’ announces the Mirror. Astronomers have discovered that ‘a giant asteroid is hurtling towards Earth at 28 kilometres per second’.

‘If the huge rock strikes – and scientists predict that on its present course it will crash from the sky on February 1, 2019 – the impact will be devastating,’ says the paper.

‘It will hit with the explosive force of hundreds of atomic bombs, causing catastrophic global changes, igniting immense fires and transforming the climate.

‘If it plunges into the ocean it will create killer tidal waves which will wipe out millions.’

So those of you sitting at your desks while tucking into a high-fat, high-sugar mid-morning snack from your nearest fast-food establishment may continue – you might as well live for the moment.

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Posted: 25th, July 2002 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink