Too Much Of A Goody Thing?

‘WHEN it comes to Big Brother, the phrase ”Too much of a good thing” clearly doesn’t apply.

”The boob jobs are on me!”

For the Mirror – the anti-Big Brother paper, let us remind you – this simply means that they gave us ever-increasing servings of a bad thing.

For the Star, the Sun and the Express, it meant competing with each other for every tit-bit, no matter how small, stale or unappetising.

And although BB3 finished on Friday, everyone has an interest in keeping it going as long at possible.

So along with the weekend tabloid revelations, we have also had Channel 4’s own post-mortems, culminating in the truly bizarre Little Brother awards ceremony in the BB house, which had the production values of a primary school prize-giving, with none of the gravitas (or the achievement). Best falling-over, best snog, best fart… Oh dear!

Now that housemates are out, the tabloids are getting stuck into the meaty character profiles, and Jade is the clear winner.

”You’re a diamond and I’m gonna buy you bigger boobs,” announces the Star.

But this is not an expression of gratitude by the editor for the Bermondsey battler’s services to circulation figures. It is a quote from Jade’s own mouth.

She was straight on the blower to her flat-chested pal Clem Green, offering her the money for the breast-enhancement surgery upon which she had set her heart.

Jade may be all heart when it comes to her mates, but she calls a spade a spade, and the paper is desperately bigging up her rivalry with winner Kate. That’ll shift a few papers over the coming weeks, with a bit of luck and a lot of stirring.

But Johnny Depp is the person who should really worry. ”I don’t sleep around but I’d bonk Johnny,” she tells the Sun, in response to the sensitive actor’s dismay at Jade’s hounding by the press.

Leave it, Jade: you’d crush the poor man to death with a single flick of those hips…

‘

Posted: 29th, July 2002 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink