Doreen Goes Doo-Lally

‘THE Hillmans are back from honeymoon and they walk right into a Dame Shirley Porter style housing scandal. Richard is devastated to discover that a prisoners’ charity has bought the house next door to the flats he refurbished and now all the buyers have pulled out.

You’d think that Richard would be more accommodating to prisoners’ needs though, seeing as he’s probably going to be one himself by the end of the year. Richard faces financial ruin as he’s been robbing Peter (and not to mention murdering, ex wives) to pay Paul and the bank is demanding its money back.

Gail offers to re-mortgage her house to bail him out and Richard, having no other little old ladies on hand to con, has to agree. Which means that Gail is set to lose not only her husband but also her home when the truth about Richard finally comes out. There must be sixteen million people counting down the days.

Nick has persuaded Maria to leave Weatherfield for Canada (bet that was difficult) after explaining that it’s all over between him and his girlfriend. But something tells me the closest Maria will get to Canada will be the Rocky Road ice cream stall at Manchester airport as Tyrone makes a dash to declare his undying love to her.

Poor Maria, it’s a difficult choice to make: how do you choose between the missing link and an extra from Planet of The Apes?

Maxine’s mother Doreen is making quite an impression in Weatherfield. Apart from resembling the bride of Frankenstein and scaring small children, she’s also managed to catch the eye of Mike Baldwin. He decides to dump Audrah and take Doreen to an important business dinner instead.

But unfortunately the gin and the HRT patches have an adverse reaction and Doreen goes a bit mental, crying into her stuffed avocado about how she’s on the scrapheap at 45 (ahem). Doreen also decides that Maxine and Ashley need to smarten up their image and christens their house ‘Balmoral’, much to the amusement of the neighbours.

Although the fact that the Peacocks live in a house full of mentally subnormal men and vain, shallow women, it’s perfectly fitting that they chose to name their house ‘Balmoral’. ‘

Posted: 19th, August 2002 | In: Strange But True Comment | TrackBack | Permalink