Pain In The Arse

‘IT’S not every fairytale that ends happily ever after, even if your names aren’t Charles and Diana.

”Ouch! I felt a little prick”

And we should pity poor newlyweds Kym Marsh and Jack Ryder who, Hello! is sorry to tell us, were forced to abandon their honeymoon because of an unexpected drama.

Following the obligatory ”fairytale” nuptials, the pair ”endured a horror honeymoon, forcing them to cut short their holiday by a week”.

Kidnapped from the island of Corfu by a religious extremist group, Lawn Bowlers For Jesus, Kym and Jack were robbed, beaten and had their eyebrows shaved off.

They were then shut in a bar that only served alcopops and had Hear’Say playing on a continuous loop, while extortionate ransom demands were made to their families.

Actually, none of that is true. The honeymoon ”had started off promisingly as the couple soaked up the sun beside the pool at their private villa” on Corfu.

”Unfortunately, things took a turn for the worse when, within the first few days, Kym, 26, was stung on the bottom by a wasp which left her in such pain that she was unable to sit down.”

Kym and Jack are currently receiving counselling, and will no doubt share their horrifying ordeal with the world in a special lift-out in next week’s Hello!

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Posted: 28th, August 2002 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink