Uri Gets Knifed

”’WHO goes? You decide?” Only we didn’t, because we the public had to vote for who we wanted to stay. And who we didn’t want to stay in the Australian rainforest in I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! was Uri Geller.

”Oooh, Darren!”

And so it was that the friend of Michael Jackson and Bubbles was dismissed from Camp C-List. ”See you back at the hotel,” said Uri, his fingers itching to get at all those spoons in the hotel kitchens.

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson’s fingers were also itching – to get at Darren Day, and not just at his throat. It seems that Tara wants Darren in the biblical sense, and has been telling him so via love letters.

Darren told Nigel Benn that he was having none of the It Girl’s it. And in his odd Cliff Richard meets Arthur Mallard way staring talking about ”moi gewl” back home. But in a trice, Nigel was gone, off for a night of solitary in the woods.

Darren was so upset at Nigel’s absence that he couldn’t go to the toilet. He told everyone just that. And we knew he knew that he must be really upset.

But not as upset as the viewers who had been promised the chance to send one of the unlovely ones to the woods for the entire night only to see Nigel back in the bosom of his mates after 60 minutes.

”How was it Nige?” they asked. And Nigel turned towards the shapeless jungle behind him. And his eyes said it all. ”Have I been away long? What year is this? Who am I? Who are you?” And for a wonderful second, no-one at home could remember.

‘

Posted: 3rd, September 2002 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink