The Tough Get Going

”’WILL They Strike Today?” asks the Daily Express on its front page. And the answer, gauged from the TUC Conference in Blackpool, is: no, but they’ll have a bloody good grumble.

New pictures of call centre supervisor revealed

Tony Blair addressed the conference yesterday, and delivered a few desultory words on union rights, told the delegates to behave themselves, and came to life only when playing to the (TV) gallery with a speech about Iraq.

Judging from the reception from the hall, the speech appeared to be about as welcome as the proverbial fart in a lift. The Star’s cartoon shows Blair addressing the assembled trade union malcontents. ”Why take on Saddam?” asks one, and there are echoes of ”Why?” around the hall. ”Because he’ll be easier than you lot,” replies Tony, wagging his finger angrily.

Presumably this is intended to indicate that Saddam is just about the most dangerous thing imaginable, yet even he pales into insignificance beside the massed ranks of organised labour.

The effect, though, is the opposite, and merely suggests that the Iraqi ”monster” is no more threatening than a bunch of trade union ”leaders” who can’t even influence their own political party.

So why attack Iraq? Tony Parsons gives it to us straight in the Mirror, in a column entitled ”Shame on you self-loathing, American-hating liberals who make me sick to my stomach”. The reason why is that, whereas ”once we were told” that Saddam ”set up rape camps in Kuwait”, we are now told that he likes Quality street. ”Remember, remember, September 11,” he concludes.

Admittedly, we were told a lot of things about Saddam. We remember how he killed the Kuwaiti babies by disconnecting the incubators, and covered all those poor cormorants in crude oil? Neither of these actually happened, of course, but they were good stories nonetheless. We don’t remember being told about Kuwaiti rape camps, but even if they don’t exist, someone would have to invent them.

Parsons may fear a strike from Saddam, the Express may fear a strike from Bin Laden, and the Star may fear a strike from the Amalgamated Wheeltappers, Boilermakers and Call Centre Operatives Union. But the most likely strike will come courtesy of Bush and Blair, with God – and Tony Parsons – on their side.

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Posted: 11th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink