Young Sherlock

‘STAYING with time, isn’t it funny how policeman are getting younger these days?

Joyriders are getting younger and younger

Look, there’s one just gone by in his Vauxhall Omega at 140mphm, sitting on his helmet to see over the wheel and blasting out S Club 7 Juniors on the stereo.

And, watch out! Oh, he’s crashed into a wall near Swindon. But he’s okay and now he’s walking along a canal bank, dressed in immaculate uniform and swinging his truncheon with something approaching real enthusiasm.

And here come some of his colleagues. They’re much bigger than him. Ooer, that looks nasty. They’re giving him a proper talking to, and are stripping him of the stab-proof vest, utility belt, handcuffs, speed gun, breathalyser, radio and torch he got at the Thames Valley Police outfitters.

And they’ve grabbed the keys to the car, and are taking him away to a secure unit.

They tell the Mail that the young cop is only 16-years old and that he must go to court to be disciplined.

Which is a shame because the force needs all the men it can muster, although, as the Mirror reports, police numbers are at the highest level (129,603) since 1921, so one might not be missed too much after all.

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Posted: 17th, September 2002 | In: Tabloids Comment (1) | TrackBack | Permalink