Last Refuge Of The Scoundrel

‘SO, what is it that this country stands for? What have we been fighting for centuries to protect and enjoy?

”When you grow up, you could look as ugly as me”

Well, who better to ask than the 29 people pictured in this morning’s Star – the football thugs whose hooliganism could see England thrown out of the Euro 2004?

Police released photos of the dirty two and a half dozen who raced onto the pitch during England’s 2-0 victory over Turkey at the Stadium Of Light last month.

And the FA says it will impose life bans on any of the hooligans identified.

If not them, then who better than the army major with the prestigious King’s Royal Hussars, who is currently in hot water after being accused of having affairs with three military mistresses – as well as bragging about bedding Andrea Corr?

Perhaps, we should inquire of Brendon Frearon, the burglar who was shot by Tony Martin and who, says the Express, is suing the farmer for £15,000 for loss of earnings.

Or maybe the scientists who have discovered that real life in Britain is in fact worse than EastEnders.

Although the murder rate in Albert Square is slightly above the national average, the researchers tell the Express, the figures for rape are accurately represented.

And, claims the research in the New Scientist, scriptwriters on the soap actually downplay subjects like infidelity, prostitution and deceived fathers.

However, they do admit that it is not all realistic – for instance, it is inconceivable that someone like Sonia Jackson would ever get laid in real life.

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Posted: 15th, May 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink