Word Games

‘BEING a sports journalist must be as easy as learning how to spell Beckham.

Anna suspected someone had turned the heating up

Showing how easy that is, all the papers ignore the welter of sporting activity, tales of the men and woman who are playing actual games, to spell out the word ”Beckham”.

The Sun even finds that too taxing and shortens the entire thing to ”Becks”, a masterstroke of brevity and the sub-editor’s art.

Very soon the letter ”B” will be all that appears on the backpages. And after that perhaps nothing, save a Real Madrid-like whiteness.

And that would be appropriate because the story that passes for news is that Beckham, Becks or B is off to Real Madrid.

The Mirror says that if/when he goes to Spain, Manchester United will ”only” get £18m for him. How United will survive on so meagre a sum is beyond our understanding.

And if that’s grim, take a look at the Mirror’s other story, this time about Arsenal’s Nigerian player Kanu.

Having summoned the IT department to locate the underused un-Beckham letters ”n” and ”u”, the paper reveals that Kanu is being offered £1m to leave Arsenal.

So desperate are the Gunners to rid themselves of their lackadaisical striker that they are offering to pay him seven figures to go.

Yes, we know, a million pounds is an insult, tantamount to a slap in the face. But football is undergoing a dip in fiscal fortunes and tough choices are being made.

And it’s the same with Wimbledon. Well, not yet, but very soon the tennis tournament will be put of business, as the Express brings the grim news that Anna Kournikova – the world’s only female tennis player – has pulled out of Wimbledon.

In tears, the Russian-born ace has been forced to withdraw from this year’s Wimbledon because of a niggling back injury.

And no Anna means two things: the death of tennis and lots more Becks.

‘

Posted: 17th, June 2003 | In: Back pages Comment | TrackBack | Permalink