Dirty Diana

‘IT’S been an oversight that has passed under the snouts of the press for too long: just how good was Princess Di in bed?

Demented female on the loose

What her favoured location for coitus was we can only guess at, and bed is meant only as a cover-all for those other romantic hotspots, like the centre circle of Will Carling’s Twickenham or the front window of Dodi Fayed’s father’s shop.

Where James Hewitt and Diana did it is not given away, although in answer to our question, Hewitt is saying that Di was ‘one hell of a f***’.

That’s a comment fit for the gates of Althorp House, the estate run by Di’s brother Charles, who was also partial to a spot of adultery.

And an even better way to plug a soon-to-be-aired documentary about ‘love rat’ Hewitt on Channel 4, which the papers have all seen.

Inside the Sun, readers get to hear of Hewitt’s reasons for spilling the beans on camera.

‘We’re doing this programme because I’m a complete shit and we’re trying to make me less of a shit,’ the major explains.

Hewitt hopes to achieve his goal by allowing his pal Michael Coleman to read aloud some of those famous letters that passed between Di and himself.

Coleman cocks his head to the side, bats his eyelids and reads: ‘Boy, oh boy, does the earth shake when I get a letter from my desert friend, screams of delight, tears, you name it. Demented female on the loose, that’s for sure.’

Those words were penned in 1991, at a time when Hewitt was serving in the Gulf War.

Speaking anew through Coleman, she says how she worries for her James and prays for his safe return.

As, apparently, did Charles. ‘I think Charles was probably grateful someone was looking after his wife,’ the Mail hears Hewitt say.

And for giving Prince William someone to play with…

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Posted: 16th, July 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink