Spencer For Hire

‘THE single greatest thing about today’s quest to achieve celebrity status is seeing how low the minor royals and toffs will sink to achieve it.

‘And which window will it be today, children?’

And news is that Victoria Spencer, the former wife of Earl Spencer, has just lowered the limbo bar at the Holiday Inn in Slough a few inches more.

On the front cover of Hello!, the toff who was once Princess Di’s sister-in-law stands more naked than the day she was born.

The only adornment to her personage is the blue heart-shaped tattoo on her upper arm, a kind of ink and flesh equivalent of the silver spoon that once stuck out from between her teeth.

But the interesting thing is what she’s done to her breasts. Whereas the humble proletariat in the gutter inflate their tits with silicon, Victoria has moulded hers into the form of a baby.

And she’s called this lump of flesh Samuel.

‘Samuel is a recovery baby,’ says Victoria, ‘the gift of being clean and sober. He’s a new beginning for all of us [Amen to that] and a wonderful opportunity for healing the past.’

Next week Victoria backcombs her merkin and talks about the fresh challenges that lay ahead for a woman with her creative spirit and freedom of expression…

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Posted: 17th, July 2003 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink