Euan Cry

‘JAMIE! JAMIE! Ohmygod! Nooooo! We’ve just heard that (gulp) Jamie Oliver has been involved in an accident.

Twenty points (with a five-point yellow jumper bonus)

Amazingly it’s got nothing to do with his tongue being caught in a deep-fat fryer, but involves Jamie’s scooter colliding with a ‘crazy’ white van driver.

The Star dashes to the scene and sees Jamie lying in a London street.

‘I got knocked off by some idiot in a white van who didn’t indicate and was driving a little bit crazy,’ says our mockney hero.

‘When I fell I put my tooth through my lip, which hurt. But, luckily, that’s all that happened!’

You can never be too careful, and our medical experts advise Jamie in the strongest possible terms to take it easy for the next ten years and try not to speak.

Your health, Jamie, is our prime concern.

And while your feet are up, dear Jamie, you can read the Sun’s story of another horrific prang, this time involving Euan Blair.

‘Oh God, mum’s going to kill me,’ says Euan as he surveys the damage to his Ford Focus and the minicab he’s just hit.

Well, she will now – what was it God’s Highway Code says about taking Dad’s name in vain? It’ll be more than a fine for you, my boy…

‘

Posted: 29th, July 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink