Holy Ghostwriter

‘NO one can argue with the power of religion. Just listen to Ayman al-Zawahiri, Osama bin-Laden’s second in command, talking in the Guardian.

‘In this one, the English kill Jesus’

‘I swear by the almighty God,’ says Ayman, ‘that crusader America will pay dearly for any harm done to any Muslim prisoners in its holding.’

He then says that the real battle is about to truly begin, employing a rich language that shows a terrific blend of vitriol and vengeance.

If only Mel Gibson had Ayman’s scriptwriter. Instead the actor’s employed god-botherers to pen the dialogue to his latest folly: The Passion.

As the Guardian tells us, it’s written in Aramaic and Latin.

The star, however, is already planning for the film’s certain flop, thanking a higher power for inspiration as he clutches his Golden Raspberry to his heart.

Gibson claims that ‘the Holy Ghost was working through me on this film, and I was diverting traffic’.

If employing a ghostwriter in future, Gibson should get one that speaks the same language as his audience.

And then there’s the Bible, the original book on which Gibson’s movie is based.

Paula Fredriksen, a professor in such scriptures, says that ‘between the four evangelists [Mad Max, Mark, Luke and John] Jesus speaks three different lines from the cross’.

And using our O-Level Aramaic, we don’t recall any one of them being: ‘Perhaps there’s an opening in the LA Fire Department?’

Best stick with tradition: ‘Always look on the bright side of life…’

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Posted: 4th, August 2003 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink