Mercury Rising

‘WHOEVER came up with the idea that all the British talk about is the weather didn’t know what he or she was on about – first, we talk about Kylie’s bum and then we talk abut the weather.

Walking on the beaches, looking at the peaches

And so this morning the papers gear up for what they are confidently predicting will be the hottest day ever, with temperatures set to break the 100 degrees F barrier.

Shamelessly, the Star ties a knotted handkerchief over its head and makes for the beach, once again to feast its eyes on the bikini-clad lovelies splashing in the surf.

But its sister paper, the Express, refuses to get in the holiday spirit, instead counting the cost of the heatwave.

Transport disruption, falling retail sales and lost productivity is costing the British economy £280m a day, it says.

And the total bill for the recent run of scorching weather could hit £1.8bn if it continues as forecast for another fortnight.

As many as 37% of workers, it says, are expected to throw a sickie in the next few days and join the likes of Jo-Anne Young on the beach.

The 27-year-old, who was among 100,000 sun-worshippers on the beaches of Bournemouth yesterday, told the paper: ‘I woke up today and couldn’t bear to go to work, so I phoned in sick.’

For her sake, we hope Jo-Anne’s boss is too busy feasting his eyes on the ‘beach peaches’ in the Star to read her confession in the Express.

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Posted: 6th, August 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink