The Real Deal

‘DID you know that Jodie Marsh has a head stuck atop a neck somewhere to the north of her chest? And in this highlighted, crimped and painted orb are lots of lovely brains.

Jodie belts up

She’s got 11 A-grade GCSEs and three A-levels. But at the forefront of this razor-sharp mind are her pair of real tits. As Jodie says: ”I’m the most famous person in the country for having real boobs.”

Indeed, having silicon-enhanced tits is as common as, well, having 11 GCSEs and, we suppose, a head.

It’s the thing that makes Jodie a cut above the rest, especially Jordan, the glamour model with whom Jodie is grappling for uberslapper status.

”I don’t care about her,” says Jodie dismissively. ”I have no opinion of her…I couldn’t care less if we’re friends or enemies.”

So you’re not the new Jordan? ”No. I’m Jodie Marsh. At first I bounced off Jordan for publicity, then, as I got bigger, she used me for publicity”.

Using Jordan as a springboard should shoot Jodie somewhere well into the outer reaches of space.

But Jordan is not taking it lying down and fight promoters have offered a £100,000 purse for them to get it on in the ring.

”Bring it on!” yells Jodie. ”She’s a couple of inches taller than me, but I’d win.”

Because we’ve learnt that real tits matter, and Jodie’s got them in abundance. Just look as they peep though the bubbles as she takes a bath.

And if you stare you can see the words ‘Porn Star’ tattooed on her belly. ”I would never do porn,” says Jodie. A porn star who don’t doesn’t do porn. How very ironic.

But she’s going to get it altered to say ‘Born Star’. And that’s more fitting for the girl with her head firmly on her shoulders – and her tits in everyone’s face…

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Posted: 18th, August 2003 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink