Coming Up Roses

‘THERE are certain rites of passage that any aspiring solo singer has to go through to promote her career.

‘Roses are red, violets are blue, I write my own lyrics, so buy my records’

First, she must shed her wholesome image by posing for her raunchiest ever photo shoot, preferably for a men’s magazine.

Then, if in a relationship, she must dump her boyfriend or, if single, get it together with someone who is coincidentally from the same record company.

And then she must cover herself in rose petals and adopt Mena Suvari’s pose from American Beauty – in what is known as the Emma Bunton Route To Success.

This morning’s devotee is former S Clubber Rachel Stevens, who lies back naked in a bed of roses in the Express and contemplates the release of her first solo single in a fortnight’s time.

Let us hope she enjoys the same success as other devotees such as former Steps star Lisa Scott-Lee, former Hear’Say singer Kym Marsh and former Spice Girl Emma Bunton herself.’

Posted: 1st, September 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink