Yorkshire Pudding

‘UNLESS you are a tub, being called ‘tubby’ is not a desirable thing. So you’d expect ‘tubby’ Michelle to be upset.

Michelle mistook the microphone for an ice-cream cone

She probably is, but no more than usual since she is what the Sun calls a ‘relatively normal size 16 to 18’. She is also a Pop Idol wannabe.

And it’s this latter condition that has propelled her to a double-page spread in the Sun, something brought about by her singing talent and nothing to do with accommodating her bulk.

She just happens to be the TV show’s best singer in the opinion of the Sun’s readership, who voted in their tens to say that the ‘tubby’ Scots lass is their No.1, and very possibly Nos. 2 and 3.

At this point many will recall the name of Rik Waller, the Pop Idol hopeful from series one, who was championed by the Sun and now thanks to their efforts and his enormous bulk can be hired for kids’ parties (as a bouncy castle) at a second’s notice.

History tells us that Michelle has little chance of taking the real vote on final day, but she will surely be interested by the Star’s story on Gareth Gates.

Having denied a love affair with Jordan and undermined his status as Celebrity Stammerer by playing tapes of his talking between songs, Gates is now denying his Yorkshire roots.

The singer tells everyone he meets that he’s from London instead of his native Bradford. This, as the paper puts it, has caused nothing less than ‘outrage’ in the Republic.

Readers are forgiven for thinking that the Bradford locals have suffered enough, seeing how the paper elicits the views of the town’s other famous exports – Richard Whitely and Girls Aloud’s Kimberley Walsh.

Gates’ heinous act could be the blow that finally ruins the place.

But there is more news. Rumours are that Gates doesn’t defer to London at all but to a small colliery hamlet in mid-Wales called LLLLonddon.

Residents of that place are said to be delighted.’

Posted: 10th, September 2003 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink