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Best Of Ruck

by | 21st, November 2003

‘AS if any of you need reminding, Saturday marks England’s chance to be world champions at rugby union.

‘It’s 11 against 11, 90 minutes…’

Sadly, the Mirror supposes that many of its readers have not a clue about the sport and duly produces “The Bluffer’s Guide To The Rugby World Cup Showdown”.

The rules of what is a complicated game on first viewing are explained by one Ruki Sayid, a woman who the paper thinks is ideally placed to speak to the not-yet-converted Jonny Wilkinson fans since she appears to have just discovered the game herself.

“But if, like me,” says Ruki, “you know nothing about the game, here’s a bluffer’s guide to help you through the big day.”

Nothing better than being led by the blind through the pitch dark, festering mess of a scrum.

And if you don’t know about rugby, better to ignore the Mirror’s pitiful guide and just know that, in the words of the Sun, it’s going to be a “kanga banga”.

“Wilko will wreck ‘em like Beckham, says Rob Andrew.”

You see, to get this football-mad nation talking about rugby, the Sun has correctly realised that you need to talk from a footballing perspective.

Because Jonny Wilkinson kicks the ball while the others handle it, he is the star of the show. You can’t support 14 David Seamans, not when there’s one Beckham on the pitch.

Sticking with football, the Mail tells us that Leeds intend to make Gordon Strachan their new manager.

They’ve asked Southampton for permission to talk to the ginger Scot, a former captain of the Yorkshire team.

Strachan, who has worked well at Southampton, appears as an attractive choice for Leeds, even more so when readers learn that an agreement will have to be reached over compensation since he has six months to run on his current contract.

How Leeds love paying out all that lovely compensation.

But let’s not leave on a bitter note, but look towards Saturday’s big game, nail our colours to the posts and wish England the best of luck.

Win or lose, rest assured that in around a year’s time rugby will be as popular as it always has been.

No pressure then, lads…’



Posted: 21st, November 2003 | In: Back pages Comment | TrackBack | Permalink