What Happens Next?

‘COME with us now on a game of Celebrity What Happens Next?

”I’m squids in here”

We have paused the action just as Ozzy Osbourne reaches the crest of a hill and focused the camera on a large divot that lies on the down slope.

Now look on in wonderment as Colin Farrell climbs astride a camel in Egypt and then lets go of the reins with his hands. What happens next?

Well, it looks like Colin has a drink and perhaps a bite to eat with fellow actress Angelina Jolie and her nipper, Maddox.

But it could have been worse. And while your mind spins with the drama that might have unfolded, Hello! throws up the image of Chris de Burgh jet skiing.

The unforgiving whiteness of de Burgh’s legs presents a risk of its own – snowblindness to the casual observer. But look now as he raises one hand off the bar in a wave to the camera.

So what happens next? Answers on a plastercast to the usual address. But here’s a clue: a giant squid will mate with anything at this time of year.’

Posted: 8th, January 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink