Cardiac Arrest

”END OF HEART DISEASE,’ announces the front page of the Daily Express, to the sound of hundreds of thousands of wheezy cheers and humming pacemakers.

New hearts will soon come flat-packed with easy-to-follow instructions

But there’s a catch: ‘No one under 65 will be a victim.’

Bugger. Oh well, at least the Express readers have had a good run for their money, even if most of them won’t be around in eight years’ time – the date by which a ‘top doctor’ predicts that the killer condition will be eliminated.

And of course, with all its readers gone, experts are also predicting the elimination of the Express itself by the year 2011.

Which just leaves the Mail. Bugger.’

Posted: 25th, March 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink