Nut Roast

”JAMIE COOKS UP NUT ROAST’ shrieks the Sun, and for a moment a delicious thought crosses our minds, only to be banished immediately as sheer wishful thinking.

Jamie wished he hadn’t slammed the oven door quite so hard

But then the subheading makes us think again. ‘Naked Chef burns his meat and 2 veg,’ it sniggers, and our hearts race once more.

Yes, Jamie Oliver has experienced the kind of embarrassing injury that usually only afflicts men who interfere with vacuum cleaners.

And just as they always claim that their accident occurred while innocently ‘hoovering in the nude’, so Jamie has attempted to excuse himself by saying that he was simply living up to his billing as The Naked Chef.

‘It was on Valentine’s Day,’ explains the fat-tongued foodie. ‘I was naked and I burnt my penis. It really ruined my evening – and my night.’

The paper reveals that Jamie does all the cooking at home, but has hired a cleaner because he cannot bear tidying up.

So if – God forbid – he should ever report to A&E with any Hoover-related injury, it will be interesting to hear his explanation.’

Posted: 6th, April 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink