White Teeth

‘ONE key difference between the fake photographs of British soldiers abusing Iraqis and those American snapshots is the teeth.

Brush three times a day after meals

While our bogus squaddie bows his head in shame, hiding his teeth from view, the Americans beam like the headlights on mom’s Cadillac.

And this has hurt us nearly as much as it’s hurt the Iraqis, taking a bite out of our young people’s confidence, according to the Independent.

And it’s not just Americans, but also our white-toothed celebrities who are making our youth ever more tooth-conscious.

Professor Jimmy Steele, of Newcastle University, has noted how the sight of David and Victoria Beckham’s artificially whitened teeth, and others like them, is encouraging youngsters to opt for special dental procedures.

‘Despite the fact that oral health has been steadily improving over the years,’ writes Prof Steele, ‘young people are more likely to believe they have unhealthy teeth because they compare themselves with the high standards set in the celebrity world.

‘People have developed unreasonable expectations of their dentists.’

Of course, just finding an NHS dentist is even harder than spotting a flaw on Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt’s blindingly white ivories.

So while you look for one, try not to open your mouth and, if you have to, paint your teeth with some Tippex first…’

Posted: 19th, May 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink