Petty Woman

‘AFTER hearing all about Julia Roberts’ interesting womb a few weeks back, we now learn about her fascinating glands and how she is ravaged by hormones.

‘I’m feeling ornery, orny, orny, ornery’

A pal of the medical marvel says: ‘She’s extremely ornery and fighting with those around her, especially Danny and his family.’

Danny is Danny Moder, Julia’s current husband; and ornery means cantankerous, disagreeable and ravaged by hormones.

But versatile doesn’t just do ornery – she can do clingy just as well, or indeed, mucilaginous, as her entourage may well say.

‘She seems to break down in tears for no reason at all and wants him [Danny] to be at her side constantly,’ says the same pal who gave us ornery.

But Danny can’t – or won’t – always be there for her. Because Danny doesn’t want to be known as Mr Julia Roberts, husband to the ornery, hormone-ravaged, blubbing, screeching, walking strip of cling film; he wants to be Danny Moder DP, cinema photographer of international repute.

So he’s left Julia in Europe – that expanse of land to the east of New York – where she’s filming Ocean’s 12, and flown to Portland, Maine, for a job on the coming-to-a-bargain-bucket-near-you flick Straight Out Of Compton 2.

Danny, the story goes, is keen to gain a credit as the film’s Director of Photography (that DP), a big deal in the movie business.

But even a moment’s absence for her hubby makes the hormones rage, so Julia and her progesterone, calcitonin and cortisol all flew to Portland to be with Danny.

And then, 48 hours later, the actress flew back to Rome, leaving Danny behind.

And her celebrity hormones jet-lagged…’

Posted: 8th, July 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink