Sugaring The Pill

‘SHOULD a cleric dash up to you and offer you a bar of chocolate if you come back to his place, don’t scream for the police and call Esther Rantzen.

A chocolate a day helps you work, rest and pray

It’s most likely they work for the Bishop of Manchester, the Rt Rev Nigel McCulloch, who has hit upon a novel way of getting the punters in.

In a drive to swell the Church Of England’s congregations for the upcoming harvest festival, half the diocese’s 300 parishes have already signed up to scheme to give worshippers a ‘goody bag’.

Inside this gift from above contains the latest issue of the diocese newsletter, Crux, a glossy brochure about the Church and a bar of milk chocolate.

The Back To Church Sunday scheme also involves the distribution of thousands of what the Telegraph calls ‘credit-card-style invitations’ and a poster campaign depicting people standing around a puzzle-shaped hole containing the slogan ‘Missing You’.

That should be more than enough to have the churches busting at their seams, but there is even more.

For the September 26 service, clergy are being encouraged to stick to their congregations’ favourite hymns and to do something ‘completely different’ during the service.

A live sex show might be deemed inappropriate and messy, as too a game of pin the tale on Jesus’s donkey.

Expect instead something like a rock band or a comedy video. Or a break to watch EastEnders…’

Posted: 27th, August 2004 | In: Broadsheets Comment | TrackBack | Permalink