Inside Life

‘JUDGING by the picture of the federal correction facility in Alderson, Martha Stewart has her work cut out to give her cell the homely feel for which she is famous.

The Alderson prison magazine

Minimal chic is perhaps the best way to describe the 9ft by 12ft cubicle, which the ‘doomed domestic diva’ will share with another inmate for the next five months.

But we have no doubt that Martha will put to good use the skills that once made her ‘the ultimate in refinement and good taste’ in the eyes of middle America.

For a start, those dirty blinds over the window will have to go, to be replaced by some nice floral curtains.

A little lace tablecloth or patchwork quilt would do wonders for that rather ugly desk; perhaps a collage to brighten up the bulletin board; and, as for the bed linen, yeugh!

But Martha doesn’t want to make her cell too accommodating – according to the Enquirer, the prison is well-known for rampant lesbianism.

‘If you’re a lesbian inmate at Alderson, it’s great,’ says 33-year-old Elizabeth Frame, who served part of her sentence there. ‘If you’re not, it’s a nightmare.

‘I’d say about 60% of the female inmates are lesbian and, if you don’t have a girlfriend inside the prison, it’s an open market for other lesbians to hit on you.’

Especially if your cell looks a showroom for the Ideal Home Exhibition…’

Posted: 17th, October 2004 | In: Reviews Comment | TrackBack | Permalink