Bea Plus

‘IF Sarah Ferguson is ever down on her luck, her daughter Beatrice can always earn a few nicker by selling photos of herself sunbathing topless.

‘Lock up your sons…’

For a few bob more, the young princess could always invite a man along to suck her toes like popsicles.

And do not doubt the 16-year-old royal would do it for mum, because, as the Sun says, she and the woman she probably calls Sarah are best mates.

And this means that when Sarah goes out on the pull she likes to take her daughter with her.

‘It’s such fun,’ says Fergie ‘because we go out on the pull together and I say, ‘Look, what about him? And she says. ‘Oh, Mum, no!”

Given Fergie’s track record of ageing Italian counts, foot fetishists and the golf bore in a pair of Comfi-Slax Beatrice has to call ‘Dad’ or ‘Andrew’, the young gel is right to condemn her mother’s choices.

But while Beatrice baulks, Sarah tells the world that her daughter ‘mustn’t fret’ that she doesn’t have a boyfriend, so turning Bea’s face as red as her hair. ‘Her time will come’.

Problem is that when a likely lad does happen along down Kensington Gore on his horse, Fergie may well take off her sling-backs and give chase before Bea has even rubbed the toe jam from her eyes.

‘It’s OK to be a little girl,’ says Fergie – her words now picked up by the Express in a piece (‘CURSE OF THE CHUMMY MUMMY’) in which the paper questions the value of having your mum as a friend.

‘I’m 45 and I still feel like a little girl.’

Feel like a little girl you may do, Fergie, but you still look like a big ‘un to us…’

Posted: 3rd, December 2004 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink