Wade-ing In

‘MONEY makes the world go round. Or is that love? Just in case, we’ve singed a pre-nuptial agreement, and are now free to let love conquer all.

But even love in its most clichéd forms has limitations. The Mirror’s front page looks on as EastEnders hardman Ross Kemp and his wife, Sun editor Rebekah Wade, see their love reach breaking point. And snap!

“BISH!” says the Mirror’s front page. “EastEnders hardman Ross battered by his Missus.

“BASH! EastEnders hardman Steve battered by HIS ex-Doris.

“BOSH! Are the EastEnders hardmen just a pair of big girls’ blouses?”

Or are they actors, of the type that put on make-up, prance around in tights and do whatever the director tells them to, whatever the part demands. You decide.

And while you’re working that out, see if you can guess which of these so-called hardmen features on the Sun’s cover.

Is it the one the Mirror tells us is married to the Sun’s female editor? The one who was given a split lip by said editor, a woman who was arrested and taken to the police cells as a result of her part in this alleged assault? The one married to the editor who, as the Mail and Mirror remind us, has waged a long-running campaign against domestic violence?

The one involved in the story the Mail says is “tailor made for a red-top tabloid”. The one involves in a story that features a soap actor, violence and an ex-Cabinet minister – David Blunkett, a personal friend of Wade’s, had paid a visit to the Sun’s offices just before she left to a party with Kemp?

Or does the Sun lead with the story about the other one, the hardman who’s been accused of dogging by his wife?

Correct? “EastEnders hardman beaten by lover,” says the Sun’s front page. “The ex-lover of EastEnders hardman Steve McFadden was nicked yesterday for punching him in the face.”

Before we go on, can anyone believe this amazing coincidence? The on-screen brothers who’ve both just retuned to the soap are making front-page news.

If we were of a suspicious mind, we might start looking for the PR angle. It’s life mirroring art – or at least life mirroring EastEnders’ barely intelligible dabs.

But we aren’t. And instead of looking for a plot, we just enjoy the story.

“TROUBLE & STRIFE,” says the Sun’s headline, the paper looking on as Angela Bostock gives McFadden her best shot.

The story goes that McFadden went to collect his stuff from Bostock’s garage. She came out of the house. “Angela was in a complete state,” says a friend. “She came tearing out of the house and thrust their baby daughter Mollie into Steve’s arms. She then whacked him across the face, as he was holding the baby.”

Oh, and, incidentally, the Sun says Rebekah Wade was released without any charge or caution. And Kemp has “won millions of new viewers” after returning to the soap. “It was a lot of fuss about nothing,” says Kemp. “It was just a silly row,” says Wade.

In any case, get a load of that McFadden character. Tsk! That really is the big story…’

Posted: 4th, November 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink