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Behind You!

by | 29th, December 2005

‘BEHIND YOU!

Oh, pantomimes can be sooo frustrating. How is it that Buttons can’t see a huge 7ft gorilla standing behind him? How comes he can’t even smell him?

But should we expect any more from a former soap actor who hasn’t yet spotted that the dashing prince is a woman and the cow he’s taking to market sounds like that that weather girl off the telly? Perhaps not.

Best just to sit back and enjoy the show. And to cheer along as Stu Francis (“Ooo, I could crush a grape!”) invites a few audience members to join him on stage.

But what’s this? Usually, this dash to win a piece of Turkish delight is contested between a gaggle of four to eight year olds. But here comes 41-year-old Ricky Knight. The Mirror looks on as Knight dashes on stage to ask Julie Matthews to marry him. And she’s only gone and said “Oh, yes I will”.

Meanwhile, over in Fareham, Hants, the panto has adopted a sombre tone. Stars are appealing for information in the ongoing hunt for Toga the penguin.

The Sun hears from ventriloquist Keith Harris. Looking at his fluffy green bird Orville, Harris says: “Orville is an orphan and knows what it’s like to be alone.”

“We’re all so worried,” adds Big Brother’s Kemal, playing a Fairy God-Diva in Cinderella at Portsmouth.

And Home & Away’s Ray Meacher, in Aladdin at Bournemouth, Dorset, says: “Anyone with information should come forward.”

And if the stars can’t get you to talk, what about the £25,000 reward on offer? Now, where is he, kids? “Behind you!”’



Posted: 29th, December 2005 | In: Tabloids Comment | TrackBack | Permalink