Simon Cowell’s New Talent
WANNA hear all about a 46-year-old and his 21-year-old lover? Put your food down first. Swallow. Ready?
It may be more than many of us can stomach, but the Mirror’s readership is made of strong stuff. And on the front page of that august organ we read news of the “SEX FACTOR” – “Simon Cowell’s midnight romp with model, 21.”
The Mirror looks on as “sneaky” Simon Cowell watches his “secret lover” leave his home after night of heavy auditioning.
The woman is called Jasmine Lennard. She’s a “socialite”. She is bisexual. She has been to the Priory rehab clinic. And she’s wearing a fur coat. It’s 81 degrees Fahrenheit. Why is she in the coat? Has Cowell’s touch turned her blood to ice?
Nothing of it. The Mirror somehow knows that having arrived at Cowell’s London mansion in said coat Jasmine soon took it off to reveal “sexy undies”, black ones.
There is more inside. “Hey, Simon do you fancy a quickie,” says the speech bubble emerging from Jasmine’s mouth. (Jasmine is now seen in a dress fashioned from two handkerchiefs and a couple of thin belts.) “Yeah..” says Simon’s bubble, “when I finally get my trousers off.”
But Simon is a performer well versed in the ways of showbiz and chances are his high-waisted strides feature a quick-release Velcro mechanism, a stage secret.
After an hour with Cowell, Jasmine leaves and the Mirror follows. It catches up with her the home of her mother, a former Bond Girl. “There’s absolutely no story at all. I’m not talking,” says Jasmine, er, talking. “Anything you want to ask you can call Max Clifford.”
Clifford is a leading PR agent. And we learn that Jasmine is a girl who has appeared on reality TV shows Make Me A Supermodel and Trust Me: I’m A Holiday Rep. We may yet hear more from Jasmine.
But for now we have to make do with a few words from Simon’s spokesman: “Simon has known Jasmine for some time. They had a meeting to discuss TV projects.”
Indeed. So look out for Celebrity Underwear and Knickers Idol on a TV near you anytime soon…
Posted: 28th, July 2006 | In: Celebrities Comment | TrackBack | Permalink
